Parents should be transparent to their children about their wealth and their plans. This may not mean opening all of the parent's financials, but the children should be aware of the extent of the wealth and the parent’s intentions for distribution during life and at death. The parents do not and should not allow their children to dictate the estate plan; however, there are opportunities to involve the children in the process without a parent losing control of their funds. Parents should begin raising financially fit kids at young ages by communicating and demonstrating health behaviors about money, teaching strong values and compassion. Some examples are providing allowance to children and setting the expectation that a portion will be set aside for long-term savings, a portion for charitable gifting and remainder for discretionary spending.
If parents want to have their children support charitable endeavors, then parents must support charitable endeavors and make your behavior known to your children. Parents should talk to their children about why charity is important to the family, why you have chosen the charities that you wish to support, and how you should choose a charity.
If a parent requires that a portion of the allowance be given to charity, the child should participate in choosing the charity. It works best if the parent is open to a variety of ways that the child can be charitable – not just giving to the parents’ charity, but actually allowing the child to choose how and when so that they are vested in the process. For children, the link between giving to a charity and the charity, will be the opportunity for volunteerism. Parents find their kids more involved with giving when the child can also volunteer their time rather than just providing financial support.
For older children, parents may encourage and allow children to manage a portion of the family’s donations. This can include involvement in the investment decisions, researching the charities that will be supported by the donations, being part of the decision-making process for making decisions, follow-up with charities on the use of the funds with a report back to the family.
Everyone learns through doing and through failure. These children may fail, but that failure can lead to education and an opportunity for learning. Whether it is an 8 year old with an allowance or an 18 year old with a small fund to manage, the donations to charity and the investment of the assets could lead to failure – failure to grow or choosing a charity that doesn’t use the funds for the intended purpose. If parents use these failures as teaching moments, then it is not really a failure because the intended purpose for the allowance or fund management was to teach the children about fund management and charitable giving. The whole purpose of these endeavors is to teach financial responsibility, the value in having money serve others and the value of that service. Successfully raising involved and charitable children will go a long way to reducing the fear parents have about transferring wealth to their children and children have about what, when and how they are going to inherit.
